Surviving the PTO

          As the summer winds down and the stores begin to line their shelves with school supplies, you must also prepare yourself for meetings with the new teachers, principal and the dreaded…PTO.

          I am not a “PTO type” but, I am a very involved mother. I have recently volunteered my husband and myself for grant writing. My daughters’ school is trying to raise funds for a new playground. Of course, fundraising up to that point was hot dog sales, candy sales and the occasional book sale. These are great for smaller projects, but we needed $83,000.

          Since I volunteered, we have begun sending out donation requests from area businesses. This idea has done very well. I have also put articles, describing our efforts, in the local newspapers. That has given our project a lot of attention. We have also written and sent out over 10 grant applications and proposals to large corporations and state legislators. This is where we have made the most impressive progress.  

          This small school of 310 children, most of which are from very low income families, has received $85,000 in less than one year! We are all very proud and excited by the progress we’ve made. BUT, all this has come at a price.

          I have had to engulf myself in the PTO. I have had to be in the middle of the PTO politics. It can get ugly! They complain, they bicker, and frankly…sometimes they act like the very kids we’re supposed to be raising money for. And it doesn’t stop there. The same mentality is in the school system itself, the principal, the teachers, and especially the school board. One doesn’t like the other, they don’t want to do what the other suggests, and they don’t respond to each others’ emails. The goal gets lost in all the ugliness.

PTO Survival 101:

1.   Stay in control. The trick to getting through this is to get to the point at all times. If you are not leading the meeting, try to guide the conversation back to the topic at hand. If you are leading the meeting, get to the point and stay there. Discuss the topic, vote, and get finished quickly.

2.   Don’t let the conversation stray into anything that doesn’t concern the topic at hand. There will be time for idle conversation later.

3.    Don’t think that you will always get things done your way. It does not work that way! Even if you are the only one working on a particular project, it affects the group and the group should have their say.

4.   Don’t steam roll over other people’s ideas. This will not make you any friends! Everyone there wants to help. They all want to have some “ownership” in the project. This kind of work is difficult at times, but it gives you a sense of accomplishment and community.

5.   The most important thing to remember might seem a little simple, but it is crucial, BE NICE. That is all it takes to have a good PTO, or any group. Be nice to the people you have to work with. It’s not always easy, but it will save you a lot of headache.

          So, good luck in your adventures with the dreaded PTO.  And remember…You can catch more flies with honey.

          I read somewhere that the best way to keep a marriage fresh is to always Act Like You’re Dating. I like the sound of that. I don’t think it is always that easy, but it works. If you keep in mind the wants and desires of your spouse, you will both be happier.

          Personally, I like to take my husband’s advice. He has always said that he tries to Live Life Without Regrets. When it comes to family, he doesn’t do anything that he might regret. He puts a great deal of thought into everything. He NEVER loses his temper, he spends a lot of quality time with me and our kids, and he is very compassionate about our future. He is wonderful.

          Honesty Is The Best Policy. YES, but I have to say, you might just regret giving too much detail. My husband knows absolutely everything about my past, not that there’s much to tell, but he knows about every little crush I’ve ever had. I must say, when it comes to your actions, thoughts and desires, from day one of your relationship…they are fair game. You owe it to yourself and your spouse, to be open and honest about everything!

          The most important piece of advice I have ever gotten about relationships also came from my husband. We were dating and he asked me if I liked something he had made for dinner. I didn’t want to say, “NO!” So, I said “Oh, yeah. It’s great!” Well, that was a mistake. Every time he talked about making me dinner, he would talk about that first meal.  Finally, I had to come clean. Thus, the advice was born. He said, “Honey, don’t lead me to believe you like something just to spare my feelings. If I think you like something, I’ll keep doing it. If you tell me the truth, we’ll find what you do like, together.” Well, that was much better. And that advice works in all aspects of your relationship … food, personal habits, sex, driving styles and so much more. Don’t set up patterns of behavior that you won’t be happy to continue. Things change, but don’t allow unrealistic expectations taint the relationship.  Be Real From The Start.

                    The Little Things Really Are BIG.  Wake your spouse with a kiss, go to bed with a kiss, be patient, and listen to him when he’s talking. I know it’s difficult sometimes, to hear him over the kids screaming, the dog barking, the TV blasting and the white noise that seems to go on endlessly, but it’s important. Give him a few minutes to relax when he comes home from work. Don’t throw the kids at him as soon as he walks in the door. Make his favorite meal when he’s had a hard day. Surprise him with the occasional dinner out along with tickets to his favorite team or the movies. Compliment him. Men need compliments and thanks as much as women.

          The point is, if you want a great relationship, you have to put a great deal of work into it. It’s not even work, it is care. Whatever you want in life, you have to work for it…especially love.

          Shopping with the kids doesn’t necessarily have to be a hassle. I know…you don’t believe me.
I have been in the store with my cousins, nieces, friends’ kids, and my own two kids so I know frustration! If they aren’t asking for everything they see, they’re bickering amongst themselves, screaming about one thing or another, or running off.
          If this is not your main complaint, I would assume it is the fact that you are taking more into the store than you actually plan to bring out. You have to carry in the baby, the baby carrier, the diaper bag, a toy and any older kids you may have. By the time you get in the door, you’ve forgotten why you are even there.
          Why then do we even take them out? LOL…because we have to. But running errands doesn’t have to be this difficult.

          Try a few of these little tricks and see if they help you.

          1. Make sure you keep a change of clothes for your little ones in your car…At All Times! There has been more than one occasion, when my child has gotten car sick while out shopping. Plus, you never know when a spill will occur.
          2. Let your child know why you are going out. If you are grocery shopping or shopping for school clothes (etc.), let them know there will be NO shopping for toys.
          3. Make sure everyone eats and uses the restroom before leaving the house. There is nothing worse than carting a baby carrier and a couple of kids into a public restroom while another child uses it.
          4. Keep the kids entertained in the car. Use music, and conversation. Although TV’s are wonderful in the car for long trips and vacations, using music and conversation is best to keep in touch with what’s going on in your older child’s life and is great for stimulating the minds of your younger children.

          The point is … you don’t have to lose your mind every time you need to run out to pick up a loaf of bread. Try to relax and laugh about these small trials and tribulations. After all, you are lucky to have them!